Counselor: Harold, what time did you tell him to
5:00. But he's always late.
Oh, he'll be here. In 3, 2, 1...
[bursts inside room] Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?
Person on street:
Yo, is gettin' oral sex from a man better than gettin' oral sex from
Pfff, how the f**k would I know? Next question.
How can you sleep when you're high on crack? Chinese riddle for you.
Night. Night. Keep yo butthole tight.
Then Jasper said "Look here, ni**er, if anyone's gonna have sex with
my sister, it's gonna be *me*."
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first
rock. And I shall smoketh it.
Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What
the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and
sniff it and get high.
I'll have a Samuel Jackson.
[shouts] Good motherf**king choice, motherf**ker! Samuel Jackson!
Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It'll get ya drunk!
You'll be f**king fat girls in no time! You might even fight a ni**a
or two! Mmmm-mmm, b**ch!
dave chappelle quotes page 1