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I didn't do it, no one saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
Bart

Marge: I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends. All you have to do is be yourself.

If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.
Lisa

They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.
Moe

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
Bart

Lisa: Be myself? I've been myself for eight years and it hasn't worked.

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.
Marge

Please do not offer my god a peanut.
Apu

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