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PERSUASIVE SPEECH TOPICS
presented by author / motivational speaker
Nancy McFadden M.A.
CONSIDERING IF YOU SHOULD DISAGREE & IF SO,
HOW T0 DISAGREE EFFECTIVELY
page 4 solution. Taking a ‘time-out’ is the only sensible thing
to do and leaves the door open to further discussion at a better time.
“When you are the one who initiates a ‘time-out’, you are the one
responsible for setting a time-frame in which you believe it would be
appropriate or safe to resume discussion. It lies with you to initiate a
resumption of the discussion when the time-out period has expired”.
“When you do so, you demonstrate your competence, integrity and
personal power”, she says. This type of behavior clearly demonstrates your
willingness to be mature and own your part of the difficulty in the
situation. If you avoid, you identify your fear and set the stage to be
trivialized in the current situation and whenever else you speak sincerely.
Don’t do that to yourself”, she cautions.
What is of peripheral interest is her suggestion that disagreement
is not about being right or wrong. “The real issue”, she says is to be able
to identify who you are, what you believe or want, or don’t want, and what
you intend to do in this particular situation”.
“Because of that you want to listen and to be heard, because you
are sharing important information”. Disagreement is not about deciding who
is the better person, on any level, it is merely identifying who you are and
finding out who the other person is, or what they do, or do not want”.
“If you are clear about that”, McFadden claims, “you can avoid the
emotional chaos that is associated with most disagreements”.
Although she has other comments in relation to disagreements, and
strategies for effective disagreement McFadden asserts that these three
steps mentioned above, “Stay on Topic”, “Repeat the topic every time someone
strays” and “Agree to Disagree”, will dramatically affect your competence in
both personal and professional encounters. Learning to accept and cooperate
with the wisdom that disagreement is merely a communication skill and not
cause for converting others, or being converted, will bring you to a whole
new place. Being able to state your thoughts clearly without becoming
emotionally enmeshed in the other persons response to who you are is a vital
maturation that every effective communicator must develop.
Another point of interest in McFadden’s program is her claim that
‘compromise’ is not always in a person’s best interest and must be viewed
with a more jaundiced eye.
She alleges that compromise is often a solution that a person
resorts to when they lack the ability or inclination to respect their own
judgement or individuality. Too, she claims, it is often the place a person
will go to in order to avoid further confrontation. “Often”, she claims,
“people will seek compromise without taking the time to assess whether the
compromise is in their best interest or merely a way to avert an argument”.
However, the threat is that you may be inclined to compromise your
integrity, morality or other things that prove to be in your best interest.
“It is far more practical to practice acknowledging and accepting that
differences are not always a bad thing. You just might be identifying that
you are different from the other person, she says, and that’s all right.”
If, in fact one...
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