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 presented by author / motivational speaker Nancy McFadden M.A.

Reflections on Death and Dying   --page 2--


As parents, there is a powerful tendency to avoid the subject of a child's death. At the least, parents live in the juxtaposition of chronically fearing the death of their children, while denying to that same child that they, the parent will ever leave their child.
Nonetheless, death forces that move. Age, time, convenience is not an issue. Yet, children seldom share these discussions, even when they approach the parents by asking serious questions.
In aging too, the resistance to acknowledging death is still common, although there is a greater willingness on the part of the aged to discuss it. But it is difficult to find anyone with whom to have the discussion. Perhaps declining strengths, energy, enthusiasm or interest in the future contributes to a willingness to address death. Yet family members often respond by making comments generally meant to assure the older person that they have plenty of time left. Even in hospitals, hospice workers will report that many families argue to the death, that the ill person will recover - often arguing it with the dying person.
As a consequence, it is common to experience and observe preparation for 'care of the deceased' post-mortem. Why is that? Knowing that death is part of living, why are preparations not addressed and maintained by Self during life? Is there a particular or perverse reason for leaving the handling of funeral to the 'survivor? How clever is this practice, especially when in most instances the 'bereaved' is in the throes of extreme sadness, guilt, fear and other highly emotional states that impair logical, intelligent, sustaining choices or decisions. In such cases, funeral homes report that people are often deciding on the basis of what they believe, "the deceased would have liked or wanted". How stressful.
Certainly, there is a bevy of reasons for deciding to consider one's personal attitude, degree of maturity and point of realistic readiness in relation to one's final action. Obviously, we are not generally informed as to when death will visit. Therefore, some regard for the 'putting away of life' as a last action would seemingly benefit the dying and the survivors. Irrespective of your position in the death experience does it not seem natural to address such a significant happening before being caught up in the drama of the moment? Is it as natural and acceptable to avoid as we allow? Furthermore, should you?
This presentation puts forth particular strategies and direction. It is not even hinted that this set of suggestions is an all-encompassing solution to developing an authority over the sacrament of death. Obviously, each person needs to consider their personal desires and expectations.
Because of that, this presentation is, on a minor level, a motivational seminar. It is designed to lead you into what is hopefully a larger more realistic view of death, particularly you own. This paper offers an encouragement toward implementing those steps that would render more comfortable and pleasing to you, a successful and satisfying demise.
 

Death --page 1 2 3 4

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